My Kingdom for a Taco Bell

You people living in decent countries don’t know how good you have it with food. More specifically the phenomenon known as fast food. Since your countries have all the money, no corporations feel like setting up places in Ukraine to feed the busy higher class of Ukrainians that can afford it, besides McDonalds (sorry no crazy Russian Gronald McDonald commercials with the clown marching around giving out burgers and saying MUN MUN MUUU to people). I swear, it’s like a conspiracy or something, every walk-in-to-order food building is selling the same very generic Slavic food, and let me tell you, classical Russian food for the most part is horrible. No stores exist that sell donuts, no magic Mexican food joints, not even a damn decent pizza place. Might also have something to do with Ukrainians seeming to generally be very against any sort of artificial preservatives, and having no money to really buy much else but gasoline to run their amazing soviet cars to be able to drive back and forth from the farm that every single damn person seems to have out away from the city. You people ever heard of Shawarmas? We have a few stands that sell them as well as hotdogs, and nothing else.

And that’s how I saved Christmas from the zombie tigers.