This show makes you retarded.

Tenchi Muyo. Any of us Toonami generation anime fans remembers Tenchi. People will also remember there are, rounded down, over 9000 series, sequels, spin offs, and alternate universes of Tenchi Muyo. One of the spin off universes was the Tenchi Universe series (the first and third movie followed this cannn), and what a hell of a show this one was. Don’t get me wrong. I love Tenchi Universe. The Tenchi multiverse is the anime that got me into other anime. To this day, it is one of my favourites. In the past few weeks, A friend and I marathoned the series (not the movies yet). We watched the 2nd 13 episodes all in a row, and let me tell you, this shit kills brain cells. I’m pretty sure Tenchi has a slight, mild retardation, gotten from his overly challenged father Nobuyuki. Tenchi can’t exactly speak correctly for one. “Iawm Tanchi” is not how one should say “I’m Tenchi”. Everytime he speaks, on average, five of the viewers brain cells are killed. Also, seriously, at one point, Ryo Ohki, The Cabbit, runs up to Tenchi oh so frantically and starts meowing, or whatever the hell sound cabbits make, and Tenchi litterally says “Slaow Douwne, I can’t understand you Ryo Ohki”. Mother Fucker, HE UNDERSTANDS ALIEN ANIMALS SO LONG AS THE DON’T TALK TOO FAST! Here, Follow the jump, though, your brain might start falling off in chunks.

Ok, so, everything, EVERYTHING, is Mihoshi’s fault. Toliet doesn’t work? Mihoshi’s fault. Galaxy Police is chasing after tanchi? Mihoshi’s fault. Ayeka missed her fucking period? Mihoshi’s fault. Seriously though, if tenchi is slightly retarded, Mihoshi has 20 chromozones missing. I think she sexually abuses Kiyone while she’s sleeping. I’m trying to pick a good example of Mihoshi’s dumb shittery, but my brain isn’t working correctly. Well, ok, apparently, if Mihoshi leaves a cotton candy machine on, it’ll never stop. IT’LL CONSTANTLY FUCKING EXPAND UNTILL THE UNIVERSE COLLAPSES. There was also the time where she FUCKED with Washu’s shit, thus creating a washu-mihoshi hybrid clonefuck baby. TWO MIHOSHI’S IN ONE EPISODE? The only way to handle this is with a bottle of asprin and a bottle of jin.

Washu. She flaunts her genius in every series, but god damn…. In combination with the extra retardness of Universe, its just unbearable. I actually don’t think she knows how TECHNOLOGY works either. She uses a virus to infect the computer system of blah blah blah… SHE USES A GIANT SYRINGE AND INJECTS IT INTO RANDOM MACHINERY. CODING DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT WOMAN!

Kiyone isn’t that bad, but the fact that she sticks with that fucking mihoshi ALL OF THE TIME…. kills brain cells rapidly.

Sasami is the token Loli of the series. She’s one of the likeable characters. So likeable, she has had TWO SEPERATE MAGICAL GIRL TV SPIN OFF SERIES. God damnit.

Ayeka. Ayeka is everyone’s least favourite character. The Princess of Jurai is a royal cunt. Seriously. She, as is Ryoko, inlove with tenchi. God damn, everytime Ryoko isn’t around Ayeka comes to the conclusion that she must be raping tenchi, and then proceed to bitch and curse and fuck shit for everyone. She’s selfish, spoiled, and only gives a damn about herself. Everytime she’s on screen, I want to start drinking anti freeze. Its reactionary now. Ayeka? Antifreeze. She’s seriously so spoiled she can’t put fucking soy sauce on her rice, she needs to ask Mihoshi of all people (and why anyone would ever ask Mihoshi to help with anything is beyond me) to do it, at which she fails, following by a heaping BITCHING AYEKA SESSION. God I hate her.

Ryoko is the best. FUCK YOU SHUT UP.

Seriously, just watching the interractions of everyone for 13 episodes in a row… God. After the 8th episode a strong headache started to develope, and out of no where my friend pulls out a bottle of aspirin. I fucking dive bombed for that shit. Seriously, Tenchi Universe kills people’s brains. From the swim suit episode, to the fucking Mihoshi clone episode…Even when actual plot surfaces, its all unbelievably predictable. And yet, I love it so. I love Tenchi so much, i don’t know. This article wasn’t that well written i realized, but whatever. Its Tenchi, my brain hurts, fuck life.