Square Enix recently released a new Final Fantasy related game: Chocobo’s Dungeon. It’s for the Wii and the price runs for about 40.00.  I must say that this game is what I have been devoting all my free time to.  Not only is it ridiculously cute, but the dungeons themselves are really difficult to get through.

 The story is that Chocobo and his partner Cid are treasure hunters. Cid is looking for a way and parts he needs to build an airship.  Somehow Cid and Chocobo are transported to a town called Lostime. In Lostime, everytime the clocktower sounds out the memories of the people are erased. The mayor thinks that forgetting is a good thing; “If we forgot it then it must not have been important.” It’s up to Chocobo to restore the memories of the townspeople and uncover the dark secret from the town’s history that has been long forgotten.  In the meantime, Cid finds the plans for an airship and works on that.  Chocobo meets a girl named Shirma, who is opposed to the mayor’s way of thinking. She wants to help restore the town’s memories. Also, Chocobo meets a mysterious little boy named Rafaello who hatches from an egg. When people are around him, they begin to remember things.

 The Gameplay is simple. You walk around a randomly created, maze-like dungeon until you find a set of stairs. Keep doing the same thing until you reach the bottom floor. Beat the boss, find the memories and Rafaello (unless you’re in a special dungeon). Make sure to watch Chocobo’s hunger level too.

 There are number of jobs Chocobo can be; among them are Black Mage, White Mage, Knight, and even Dragoon.  Each of course have different abilities which you can gain more of by leveling up.  There are two kinds of experience gained; job experience and regular experience; obviously one goes towards job leveling and the other Chocobo leveling. Regular attacks consist of kicking the enemy until its dead. Up to 16 items can be carried at one time, and you can sort them by shaking the Wii mote.  Three items can be equpped: a saddle, a collar, and talons. These items can be honed to increase defense and attack. Note there are special dungeons you can’t take any items into. You must place them l in storage which is run by Fat Chocobos.

 Oh and there are “several” mysterious, masked Moogles running around to help.  My personal favorite is DUNGEON HERO X! HAIKEEBA!

There are some extra mini games and tasks you can do. You can meet Romantic Hero X and shout out a romantic phrase. If he likes it, you’ll get a card. Then there’s a card game run by Pop-Up Hero X; you can go online and play against others.  You can fish and plant seeds.

Overall, I’m having a lot of fun with this game. It’s cute, colorful, and highly addicting. Seriously, is there anything cuter than a Chocobo Black Mage? Both the story and characters are engaging. The gameplay isn’t complicated, but you still have to develop strategies for getting through dungeon. Enemies are not a piece of cake either, especially when you get surrounded. It’s a rough game, and I’ve thrown down my Wiimote in fits of anger and frustration multiple times. I think the only drawback I’ve found so far is that when you die in a dungeon you lose your items and gil. I guess the fact that you get to retain your levels sort of makes up for it.  This a great game and everyone should play it. It will make you squee with delight! HAIKEEBA!

That wonderful title is courtesy of the always lovely Cyber34. According to WeirdAsiaNews.com, a 41 year-old man was hospitalized after he found himself unable to remove his penis from a perforated steel bench. It turns out this particular asian man had managed to find himself in an unfamiliar situation - his penis was too big for the hole. Unable to free the man’s penis, likely due to being uncontrollable laughter, the police arranged to have him brought to the hospital, bench and all, where doctors would be more accustomed to seeing things stuck in places they shouldn’t be. Doctors were able to remove his penis in the nick of time, stating they would have had to amputate his penis if it had been stuck for just an hour longer.

Doctor’s advice? For once, don’t stick it in. 

via Weird Asia News